behavioral health

Mindfulness and Self-Awareness: Foundations of Self-Care

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It’s been a tough road since Covid came into our lives. With stress and other factors affecting our well-being, it’s no wonder we’re feeling the strain. Our physical and emotional states are intrinsically linked to the quality of our relationships with ourselves and the world around us. But, thankfully, more and more people are waking up to just how important our mental well-being is and giving it higher priority. There’s a wealth of research out there on how to improve and maintain well-being, and it’s heartening to see so many people taking it more seriously.

We can all understand that maintaining good mental health is closely tied to being mindful and self-aware, so we want to fully grasp the meanings of these concepts and how they are different yet interconnected. We also want to arouse our own curiosity to pause and get a closer look at our inner comings and goings. First, we go with the basics.

What Is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness not only makes it possible to survey our internal landscape with compassion and curiosity but can also actively steer us in the right direction for self-care. Bessel van der Kolk

Mindfulness is the state of being completely aware and present in this very moment. This involves being conscious of what you are thinking, feeling (emotionally), your surroundings, and your body sensations; especially, your body sensations.

A key aspect of practicing mindfulness is to notice what you are experiencing and to resist the urge to judge your thoughts as either good or bad. Mindfulness highlights the significance of being present at the moment rather than ruminating on the past or fretting about the future. You are very likely to find it hard to practice mindfulness because of being hard-wired to be connected with stress and anxiety. Emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, and other distractions may prevent you from sitting fully in the present. Trust that these are the exact signs that you are in need of developing skills in being mindful.

It’s common to see mindfulness and self-awareness used side by side and even interchangeably. But mindfulness is not the same as self-awareness.

What is Self-Awareness?

Self-awareness is when you have conscious knowledge and understanding of your own self, including your thoughts, emotions, personality traits, and feelings. It involves recognizing your strengths and weaknesses. Being self-aware allows you to anticipate situations that may cause negative emotions, so you can plan ahead and remain calm. Those who are skilled in self-awareness are able to align their thoughts and behaviors with their personal values.

Mindfulness Vs Self-Awareness

Mindfulness and self-awareness are closely related, but they are not the same.

Mindfulness is based on introspection, i.e. your own thoughts and feelings. With mindfulness, we acknowledge what is going on in our internal world at that very moment. No matter what thoughts, feelings, or sensations come to you, at any given time, you acknowledge their presence and then simply allow them to come and go. Being indifferent to your thoughts, feelings, sensations, or images that arise is the crucial property of mindfulness.

Looking inward while accepting the world around you is the essence of self-awareness. This means taking the time to examine your negative thoughts and emotions, understanding how they affect you, and learning how to keep them in a realistic perspective.

Mindfulness teaches you to take a non-judgmental approach to thoughts, feelings, sensations, and images at that moment. Self-awareness, on the other hand, is a skill that impels you to be objective about yourself, knowing your strengths, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities. Your thinking and acting are in line with your personal principles.

Why are These so Important?

Mindfulness and self-awareness are knowing yourself and fully understanding your inner world. This is undoubtedly a good thing. But are these really that central to the self-development of a person? The answer is overwhelmingly YES.

Being immersed in both mindfulness and self-awareness will:

  • Have a positive impact on all aspects of your life, including interpersonal relationships, career, personal growth, etc;
  • Help you regulate your emotions;
  • Helps you in decision-making;
  • Allow you to improve your relationships with family, friends, co-workers, and everyone else in your life;
  • Boost your confidence and help you gain wisdom;
  • Improve your leadership and communication skills;, and
  • Help make you a better listener.

At LEAD with Horses, one of our primary objectives is to assist our clients in developing these skills in the presence of our Healing Herd. We have a multitude of tasks and games designed specifically for this purpose. Being prey animals, horses must be present at the moment while simultaneously being ready to bolt when a predator is sensed to be close by. So, the horses are naturally adept at being fully self-aware and in sync with their surroundings.

It has been observed that horses display remarkable skill in practicing mindfulness, as they have an innate ability to live in the present moment. Their perceptions are attuned to our subtle body language and emotions, which enables them to reflect our feelings. When we are beset by anxiety, stress, or intense emotions, horses tend to mirror these emotions back to us. This objective feedback from horses is a valuable means of gaining insight into our own selves and can help us to develop a deeper understanding of our own emotions and thought processes.

 

Self-Aware is the First Step in Self-Care

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We hear a lot about self-care, especially since the COVID pandemic. When we think about taking care of ourselves, it may conjure up images of wildflowers, the aroma of lavender bath salts, massages, relaxing water sounds, a self-gifted bouquet of flowers, new shoes, or an outfit from a high-end boutique. These things are really enjoyable in the moment.

Acts of self-care are significant deeds we undertake when we prioritize our own well-being, as in adopting a way of life that doesn’t compel us to constantly seek an escape (Brianna Weist). But how does that happen? We must learn that to fully and genuinely take care of ourselves we must first become Self-Aware and fully present with ourselves when we are distressed.

What is self-awareness, and why is it important?

Achieving self-awareness comes from doing the work to gain a deeper understanding of one’s own thoughts, emotions, impulses, and personality traits. This task requires us to dig deep to discover their root causes. In building a solid foundation of self-awareness we get to know ourselves and then learn how to sit and feel safe with some very frightening or toxic emotions from the past rather than hide from them as we have in the past.
By doing so, we then acquire valuable insights into the underlying reasons for our impulses, behavior choices, and thought processes.

Self care means adopting a way of life that doesn’t compel us to constantly seek an escape

The Healing Herd

Horses have been a big part of our lives throughout history, whether they’re running wild or being our loyal companions in different settings. Horses have helped us grow and change as people, and that connection we have with them goes back hundreds of years in time. At LEAD with Horses, we are often asked about how horses have helped us and our clients to learn so much about ourselves. By allowing a horse to be themself and do their thing, with guidance our kids learn much about being congruent.
Being congruent means that the stuff going on inside of us, say, anxiety or fear, matches our outer façade, while being incongruent means that we are masking our genuine emotions like fear and anxiety and trying to come off as cool and collected.

With the help of horses, we can learn to be honest with ourselves and others and strive towards being our most authentic selves. As we journey through life, horses will continue to provide a valuable tool for self-reflection. This is why we say that horses are “our mirrors.” Horses get us at our very core, and if we are not being real, they will let us know what they know.

BIPOC Mental Health Month

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As we turn to the month of July, we focus our awareness on black, indigenous, people of color (BIPOC) individuals and families and the state of UN-wellbeing that persists due to the systemic factors that obstruct access to mental health services within these communities.  Studies conducted over the past 20 years have concluded that even though we understand more about the challenges these groups face – poverty, trauma, gang lifestyles, and intergenerational trauma – the numbers and outcomes show very little to indicate improvement in wellbeing among BIPOC individuals.

By the Numbers

Here is a striking overview of how specific racial/ethnic groups fared compared to white individuals. This data can provide us a gateway to explore the detailed findings so that solutions can continue to be sought, validated, and implemented.

  • Among adults with any mental illness, Black (39%), Hispanic (36%), and Asian (25%) adults were less likely than White (52%) adults to receive mental health services as of 2021. (KFF, 2023)
  • 2020 data reflect that AIAN (American Indian/Alaska Native) people had the highest rates of drug overdose deaths compared with all other racial and ethnic groups. Drug overdose death rates among Black people exceeded rates for White people as of 2020, reflecting larger increases among Black people in recent years. (KFF, 2023)
  • Black and Latinx youth were 14 percent less likely than white children to receive treatment for their depression in 2020. (SAMHSA, 2020)
  • The suicide death rate for Native/Indigenous people in America between the ages of 15-19 is more than double that of white youth. (CDC, 2023)

In another finding, the prevalence of mental illnesses among BIPOC individuals was similar to the prevalence among white people. However, when it came to accessing mental health services, racial/ethnic minorities were either less able or declined to access the help available due to mistrust and fear of treatment, the stigma surrounding mental health, racism and discrimination, and differences in language.  This suggests that peoples of color carry a greater burden of disability from mental illness, e.g. more likely to suffer from prolonged, chronic, and severely debilitating depression that affects them, as well as family and community members compared with whites because they often received less care and poorer quality care.

Changing the Narrative

Community is vital to well being. Inclusive communities create a sense of support and belonging, psychological as well as physical safety, and strong connection. Historically, BIPOC communities have created culturally responsive spaces, advocated for community resources, and been at the forefront of social change. It is critical to include the people within the community being served when considering behavioral health and education.

LEAD with Horses provides quality, inclusive services, and we are working toward making these services more accessible. This work is not easy, and it starts with creating welcoming, safe spaces for all of those we serve. We have the benefit of a Healing Herd of horses who assist us with building trust to create connection and community, the foundation of inclusion. Youth are invited to create the guidelines for their time at LEAD with Horses and encouraged to share their stories. We will continue to partner with others and examine our offerings, our approach, and our team to remove barriers to care and to continue to nurture all of our youth so that they will thrive.

Grief Takes Many Forms

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This week we will address grief and loss not due to a death,. We can enhance our own emotional surroundings by being open and even curious about how to abide with losses that we know of, and losses we might not even be aware of, because we ignored them. We will take a glimpse at grief, including the seemingly inconsequential losses that build up. and the consequences of not mourning. We will look at how our own Healing Herd stands present with those who are carrying powerful feelings of loss by simply holding a sacred, non-judgmental space in which a child can grieve well.

How Children and Teenagers Grieve

We all grieve. It is one of the truths about being human. The sad reality among so many of us is that we often don’t even consider grieving a loss if it wasn’t due to a death in the family or community. Until recently, even the death of a pet or another animal was not considered to be a loss that we ought to mourn and grieve. Many of us were warned by our parents,“don’t get too attached” so as not to hurt so deeply from the loss of something. As parents, we often trivialize our children’s losses as not significant enough to bother with grief or mourning. When kids act out their feelings over losing something important to them, such as parents getting divorced, a friend moving away, or loss of a prized possession, we assume that their behavior is due to “a stage”, “not getting their way”, or just plain old “disrespect”.  

My grandson has been unusually aggressive, needy, and clingy over the past year and even got suspended recently from kindergarten for fighting another child. As our family looked back to what was going on roughly a year ago it dawned on all of us that this was about the time of his parents’ divorce and his father’s move to another state. He is learning to tend to his grief as best as a 5-year-old can and we have all reminded ourselves and one another to be open to hearing what he has to say about it.  

Whether psychological, symbolic, or abstract in nature, a loss of identity, autonomy, trust in the world, dreams or hopes for the future, and a loss of personal meaning are intangible losses. The invisible nature of these losses makes these types of experiences difficult to express.  Claudia Elsig, MD

How to Be Supportive

To be fair, how many of us can actually say we were given instructions on how to grieve our losses and how to tend to emotional pain?  Were we ever given a hint as to how to recognize a grieving child if we saw one, or if the child was our own?  Did we ever stop to think about the losses associated with the Covid pandemic, and the effects of the drastic measures of lock-down upon, not only our kids, but us adults, too! So much of how we abide with our pain, when and if we allow ourselves to feel it, is left to guesswork or based on what we observed growing up and watching our parents grieve their losses. But loss creates pain and because humans avoid pain as much as possible, it gets exiled. We hide it, cover it, numb it.

Why do we do that?  Much of that has to do with our nonconscious fear of emotional pain. Pain is messy. We think that if we have pain, we are doing something wrong. We do not feel safe in sharing our pain with another because we do not want to risk being open and vulnerable only to hear from our listener that we have nothing to be sad about. But there are dire consequences to our overall well being when we stow away feelings of loss and grief. In children, teens, and young adults, look for the following: 

Signs of depression and/or anxiety.Dangerous risk taking.
Drop in grades.Self-destructive behaviors.
Threatening to hurt self or others.Violent play.
Use of drugs or alcohol.Total withdrawal from people and environment.
A dramatic change in personality or functioning over a long period of time.Any of the “normal” behaviors happening over a very long time or to an extreme.

We can provide support by first acknowledging and validating a child’s experience and encouraging open communication. It can be useful to have a ritual to process the loss. And of course, get help if it feels overwhelming. We don’t have to do this alone. 

At LEAD with Horses, a goal is to facilitate our clients’ ability to abide with the pain of loss while at the same time building a sense of peace about it. Grief and Pain sitting side by side in the presence of horses. The horses and donkeys are highly sensitive to our emotions and react to our body language and non-verbal cues. Interactions with these gentle and intuitive creatures are well-known as helpers rebuilding trust, overcoming fear of emotional pain, and in processing difficult emotions, like grief, in a non-verbal way.

We provide our grieving kiddos and their families with the space to observe and interact with our Healing Herd in an environment that is filled with love, empathy, healing, and compassion. 

Resources

Bereavement During Childhood and Adolescence https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK217849/

Horses helping heal anxiety, grief, depression like no other animal. https://youtu.be/ThUFtndFEOI

Discovering true self. https://youtu.be/fKt3wi1bzDc

In the Presence of Horses

This entry was posted in LEAD Contributors and tagged behavioral health breath work breathe equine assisted psychotherapy horse breath mental health mental health awareness mind body awareness Mindful mindfulness therapy horse on by

What do horses, our surroundings, our bodies and senses, and a 2,500-year-old practice all have in common?  What can we learn from them collectively if we are seeking to experience joy, happiness, wellness, and in between, be eager to seek more?

Here’s a helpful hint. Research into the treatment of depression, anxiety, and the effects of childhood trauma is showing that – despite the medications, treatment modalities, protocols, and theories – it is the ancient practice of mindful meditation, breathwork, and full awareness of our body’s response to our surroundings that could actually achieve greater healing and relief from these maladies of the mind and body. There is plenty of research into how horses connect and communicate through their breath. Horses will breathe slower and deeper to regulate either their own anxiety or that of another herd member.

In observing our clients and healing herd at LEAD with Horses, we have seen that humans can also be calmed by simply paying attention to a horse’s breathing pattern and then matching it with their own breath. Because horses are fully self-aware and finely attuned with their surroundings, our clients tend to follow suit. We see its efficacy in helping our kiddos regulate their own anxiety or unhealthy responses when they are activated, even though memory of experience is retained at a non-conscious level. What’s really amazing in all this is that both horses and humans already have the tools necessary to be fully present and connected in the moment and, therefore, the ability to heal.

So, when we talk about being body-aware and mindful of the present and our surroundings, what we are saying is that we are purposefully connecting to what’s going on in our non-conscious mind and raising it into our conscious mind. And this is where being “in the presence of horses” is supportive because shedding light on what’s been kept hidden in the dark for so long is a frightening prospect.

Horses, for the sake of their own survival, are naturally and fully mindful of and present with their surroundings and themselves. Mithros, the wise elder of our herd, would likely have this to say:

We horses have an amazing ability to be fully present in our 4 footed bodies, in our environment, as well as in the moment. This is absolutely necessary because we would be easy pickings for predators if we weren’t. When a threat shows up you humans get all wound up and you obsess over it. But horses? Yeah, we get scared, BUT! We have the ability to take stock of the situation and return to the present once we see there’s no real danger. You humans can learn a lot about being present just by watching us and by practicing a few, simple exercises to center yourself on your own 2 feet.

Ashley Belt, who is our Equine Specialist, explains, “Horses use their breath to relieve stress and ground themselves. If you’ve ever heard a horse blow out or sneeze there’s a good chance that they are grounding themselves. In our program we have a variety of deep breathing exercises that clients can use. One of which is a horse breath where a client relaxes their lips, takes a deep breath in then exhales through the mouth making a raspberry noise just like horses. Other options include several different shapes where clients are encouraged to draw the shapes on the horse to engage all the senses. You can watch the physical changes in the horse when this happens: their head lowers, the eyes soften and sometimes close, a back foot will rest on the ground.”

At LEAD with Horses, we provide our kids well-researched tasks that involve breathing, listening, sensing, relaxing, and paying attention to their bodies to help in understanding the connection between their own breathing, thoughts, and emotions, and how they abide with their families, at school, and in their community.

In all the work I have had the honor to conduct with youth in my career I have never before experienced moments of beauty in silent connectedness, breath by breath, sense upon sense, between a teenager and the horse that held space in the midst of loving kindness. LSH

We invite you to contact us and share a chat with our staff and volunteers. We are passionate about our work and tending to our Healing Herd. In our tending, we are, indeed, attended to.

 

Box Breathing

Here’s a great breathing exercise for you to try on your own. It’s called Box Breathing and it has been adopted by the Navy SEALS for use when they recognize their own need to ground themselves and be mindfully aware of their environment.

Take a deep, full breath. Exhale slowly, fully and completely. Inhale again and count from 1 to 4 (or for as long as feels comfortable). Pause for 4 seconds. Exhale slowly while counting from 1 to 4 (or for as long as feels comfortable). Pause for 4 seconds. Repeat the exercise three or four times. It helps to place both your hands on your sternum, pressing slightly in and downward while practicing this technique.

For more information:

Meditate in the presence of horses. https://fullcirclewellness.uk/Meditate_with_Horses.html

What Horses can Teach us About Breathing Mindfully https://equineguidedgrowth.com/2018/12/01/what-horses-can-teach-us-about-breathing-mindfully/

The Body Keeps the Score https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/resources/the-body-keeps-the-score